Dreary

Warning. I’m about to get zuper solemn here. Earlier today, I was dreaming that I was TJ from the Disney show “Recess.” And I was saying goodbye to all my great friends from the series in some tearful, maybe 90s inspired montage. Spinelli, Vince, Mikey, Gretchen, and Gus, no matter how great of friends they were, can’t really join me in adulthood. So, I think.

Gasp! A jump! Bear with me. Flash forward to reality. I’m eating McDonald’s French fries while watching many people in Glendale’s galleria enjoy each other’s company. Now, it’s not like I have had concrete plans or something. (I’ve been video editing all day.)

But the very reason why I get dreary around this time of year has to do with a past relationship and how it beared sadness on my soul to see it end so strangely.

In many ways, we each have separately grown into better versions because of the break-up. And while we still stay “friends,” truth be told, I feel now like it just isn’t meant to get any nearer than that.

See me as a jerk, Better Versioned Person. That’s what I’ve always been and that’s one of many reasons why I’ve always had some resentment towards myself.

Grow and develop. I’ll grow old and die after.