Strangely enough, I feel better today. This isn't a usual feeling but better things have been occurring today. Life doesn't feel as bleak when you realise there is no pressure really being added here. No one truly gives a darn. So what's really the point of making your life feel like a living Hell? None. Who knows… This whole perspective can change the next day. But good things have been happening within only the span of a day and surely I would probably be okay with keeping it all calm in the days that follow. I don't know what'll be asked of me but I know that I can probably handle it. Just like I can handle my urge to use the bathroom. I don't have to use it, yet. I just want to. But I know that I don't want to. It truly is a bit bizarre. I have to stop using that word. I have to be more lenient on myself. I have to stop myself from starting each sentence with "I." It only further proves my theory that no one is actually reading these back except for me. Who knows if this really is going to make a difference? At this point, I'm just trying to make myself feel okay enough to see the next day. To enjoy the next moments with the one I love. To forget about my dumb idiot past and look forward to my fun idiot future. We'll see if that lasts long. Again, who's to say? Me, I suppose. But maybe that's just a positive perspective waiting to be trampled.