If this is all a simulation, then this game’s point is to win not by survival, but by significant existence. Present tense. Don’t you see? Who cares about living the longest. It’s living the best that matters. Kurt Cobain died relatively young, sure, but he was a legendary front man for Nirvana and grunge/mental/metal rockers everywhere! Whatta hero! Sandwich! Looking at it all from a retrospect that deals major respect towards the masses, this mess called livelihood is a real gamble. How do you know if you’re going to win? What’s important to you mayn’t be important to all? So who’s to judge if everyone you know is dumb, especially you for assuming so. There’s a resilience in all of this. You can bounce back if you have a stellar weapon to WHAP’em with! Here I go trying to figure things out as if it was a figure-eight, drawn into the lay of ice by a pair of skates. As one person can affirm, the struggle to maintain relevance amongst peers and strangers alike will always be hard. That’s a bothersome reality. But what more can we do besides realise the logic behind it. Life has an awesome outcome we can look forward to if we can overcome those insane obstacles. What else can you find to be true if everything is illustrated as a lie in no specific rationale. I want to eat more of my cereal. But to do that I have to beat the anxiety adrift in my psyche regarding the possibility of bugs crawling in my food. What disaster did I endure to assume that would ever so often be a stark possibility? I create things to abide by sometimes in the confines of my mind. I wonder what Natalie Portman is doing right now. Was worried. Here’s how tired I feel: I want to tweet at James Corden and tell him to hold off on having Portman on the show, until my “special edit” goes viral and it becomes a well-known go to to see a fan value Natalie Portman in the proper light she deserves. I mean, heck, she’s been in so many great films. I suppose in a perfect world, she’d be the princess that I’d be chasing after to finish the level. And maybe I would only give her a hug, because to assume anything would come easy would be to deny the harsh reality that every obstacle that I had to traverse in the game itself was simple and uncomplicated to the emotional factor of my psyche. Not to take life so seriously, but it does feel quite long. For better or worse, I run into a bunch of conflicts within my own soul that I so meticulously devised myself. And that’s still an aspect of myself that I can actually value and feel proud of. Which otherwise hurts me in a way that causes me to believe that I am a cancer of sorts for my generation and future descendants. It’s only for a little less than forever that I can survive off of Jet Chocolate bars and remnants of store brand Ginger Ale, getting stale in the refrigerator. I don’t know how to spell refrigerator. But I won’t let my chronic phonics problems interfere with my happiness, no matter how short-lived. There’s a feeling that erupts from beneath my toe nails and sock grime, that advances my global positioning more and more everyday. It’s about ignoring the NPCs and going for the high score, which being different for everyone, would only be one point in my life. That’s how satisfied I would be having made any sort of accomplishment that would usually feel like some sort of momentous occasion to the typical commoner. I don’t know what I am in that context but I know it’s important to log down these understandings. That’s what Cobain did. To me, the most powerful of his songs is Polly. It talks of how we view those we say we love as those we can “control,” which isn’t fair or right. It really lends nothing to the imagination when put in such a malicious context. And that’s not something our realm needs right now. We need to invert our perspective if we’re to beat the level and advance to the next one. I suppose in that instance, the price is right in front of your entity-given eyeballs. That’s likely a truth. But I could be wrong. Always.